Today I came across this TikTok by MoriahDoesMagick and she mentioned taking inventory of the things in our life and asking ourselves "Does the energy that exists between me and these things feel beneficial? Does it feel healthy? Do these things feel forgotten, neglected, dirty? Where do they need more care?" and man did it hit me hard. I’ve probably heard this same thing about a million times in a million different ways but there was something about the way she said it and the timing that was just on point for right here and right now. And it was much needed.
It’s funny how we can hear the same thing a million times in a million different ways and each time we might get something different out of it. Each time, it might hit deeper and deeper until it hits exactly what it needed to hit to help inspire us to make the very lasting change we desire.
For me, it was today… Right here , right now. I’ve known for as long as I’ve been aware that my relationship with self pretty much sucked and I’m going to be very raw and real with all of y’all. That’s what I have been working on. Why I’ve been doing shadow work, healing and putting so much energy and effort into myself. It never really hit me how deep the hated ran and why…
See, going through the physical pain struggles that I’ve been going through made me hate my body. Made me mad at my body. Like what the heck is wrong with me? I blamed myself. Had I treated myself better, held others accountable, done things differently etc. And while my mental health was getting better because I was putting in the emotional work there, I was still really disconnected from my body. I literally didn’t want to be connected because all I felt was pain so I stayed in my head, focused on what I could so I didn’t have to face that ugly truth….
Now this is where her questions come into play. Is this beneficial? I mean yes, doing the inner work is great and I’m learning so much and yes… I’m starting to love me for the 1st time in who knows how long, if ever. But I’m also still avoiding the physical aspect and let’s be real… We might be spiritual beings but we are also inhabiting a physical vessel that needs us to survive.
The beauty of this? The 1st step to change is awareness. Now that I am aware of it, I can focus more time and energy on it. I hope that these words help to inspire you as much as they did for me today. We all deserve to have heathy relationships with every aspect of our life and if they aren’t, we also have the power to change them. How’s your energy feeling today?